Enjoy a Chandratini at our Star Wars cocktail party!

Things are busy-ing up for this haggard old scrub of an artist. Lots of cool projects coming up, and I'm starting to make my plans for traveling about with my carriage of Snake Oils, Tonics, Curiosities, and Horrors.

Kinda short notice, I know, but first up: Mirrodin Besieged pre-release in Columbus, OH. In like... a couple days.

In February, you can catch me at the Magic the Gathering Denver Grand Prix.

Sooner or later, I'll need to put up some kind of event calendar here on the site. But that requires a kind of effort and patience that would cut into my Dr. Mario time.

For this week's foray into fanservice, visit the gallery page for a Chandratini recipe, and ponder with this angel, who's wondering why she's staring blankly across an expanse of empty white mat.

And, as promised, a bit of catching up on Star Wars! Something for everyone.

A classic Vader emerges from his meditation chamber.

Double-threat twilek Jedi Rachi Sitra gives me a painful lightsaber lesson.

And we learn why Namman Cha is his despicable Sith self.

Next week: Magic Tactics brings us old favorites! The chronomistress and hard-bodied sorceress from "Telling Time" tells us how to organize our schedules for maximum productivity! Reya Dawnbringer gives us tips on keeping your feathers glowing white! And more hooliganism disguised as card alters!

Don't miss another sporadically unpredictable update. Sign up for the mailing list and hear the e-trumpet call for each and every one. (Email me from the Contact Page to join.)

I hope your 2011 is going as well as mine, my Beloved Minions.

Back in black metal mania. This one goes to 11.

Welcome to 2011, my Beloved Minions. The year that will finally bring us flying cars, robot servants, and cosmetic gene-splicing. I for one, am excited to the point my nipples have carved holes in my ratty-comfy Spinal Tap shirt. It will be such a good year.

I hope your holiday bounty was as spectacular as mine. The only thing missing from my finely wrapped pit of tribute, was a paradox-free time machine. And since those can be difficult to build without sundering time and space, I can easily overlook this one tiny flaw in an otherwise perfect festival of excess.

I'm not kidding in the title of this week's post. It is metal mania for the new year, and we'll start things off with a surprise preview for the upcoming Magic the Gathering Mirrodin Besieged set: Glissa, the Traitor.

And as a bonus, what should technically be labeled a study, but went pretty much to the point of a finished painting: Notglissa, the zBrush 4 Studyxperiment.

Now then, more metal from the land of Rokugan: the Mempo of Jigoku. This is what you wear when nothing but the uncontrollable soiling of your enemies armor will do.

And finally, what truly metal post would be complete without someone sporting copious spikes and chainmail? I present Dragoon Zytl from the Legends of Norrath.

Next week: Jedi and Sith! Rachi Sitra gives us a lightsaber lesson that will end in an emergency room visit, Namaan Cha practices his "menacing face," and Vader is finally back home in the gallery. Also, we'll catch up on the card alters and sketches I've been up to.

There is still room on the mailing list for you to squeeze in, provided you are amply buttered first. (Email me from the Contact Page to join.)

May your New Years Resolutions be fulfilled with speed and tenacity.

Until we meet again, my Beloved Minions.

Custom playmat paintings

A little something new for you this week, my Beloved Minions. Well, new to some of you. I bring you the very latest in cutting edge analog fanservice, the fully rendered playmat sketch:

My playmat sketches have evolved quite a bit this year. When I was in Madrid for the Magic GP, I was asked to desecrate many a playmat. And there I was, with my trusty sharpie, "Sheriff Bart." Which I had figured would be enough, he always had before. But then, folks started unceremoniously dropping mats with full color marker paintings by Aleksi Briclot in front of me. Asking me to do "something like that," with a smile, and an expectation that I could somehow compete with that.

After the shame of defacing the second half of many a beautiful work by Aleksi, I decided I needed to upgrade. First I started with a handful of Prismacolor markers, which worked quite well. Then, when I found myself in a scrapbook store - for totally legitimate reasons - I tried out some Copic markers, as recommended to me by the inimitable, unparalleled, incredible Adam Hughes.

These are some fine markers. A little pricey, but awesome. The above is the first, in hopefully a long series, of "no-holds-barred" playmat artwork. For those interested in seeing some of the evolutionary stages, here are some much faster sketches I've done at cons. As usual, these are just the handful I managed to take pictures of before they scurried off to become battlefields.

Now new artwork! Go bathe in their salty comments! Rub your eyes against the wallpaper sizes! Taste the hamfisted abuse of color!

Next week: Metal Mania! Or some other catchprase that hasn’t been outdated since I was in diapers. Whatever. A magical metal man with skull helmet and spikes shows us how to love! And a possessed kabuto offers the mysteries of the universe, at a price... (It is very picky about shampoo.)

The mailing list is hungry. If you're not yet on the list, cast yourself upon it before it is too late!

Cuddles from across cyberspace, my Beloved Minions. Follow me now via the mailing list, my website, deviantart, blogspot, facebook, or livejournal.

This is the holiday where Cthulu rises and it rains ham, right?

My family and friends have taken issue with my Christmas list this year. It seems that "candy zombie apocalypse of gluttony" is not something you can order from Amazon.

Similarly when I presented "Robo-harem of sassy and assy super-heroines" as a great present, my wife inexplicably punched me in the nipple.

Apparently my online request for "modified super-villain death-ray that turns stray neighborhood animals into pine-scented rainbows" was not popular with PETA, if the grenades lobbed through my windows are any indication. (Clever though, they are engraved with such slogans as "Meat is murder! How do you like it, d-bag?" and "Say hello to puppy Jesus for us. XOXO PETA." Or "To whom it may concern, thank you for reading this grenade instead of throwing it back at us." )

They're all grinches, I say. Grinches! Ebineezer Grinchy MacHatesalot Scrooges!

Anyhow, I've got some new paintings for you to gander at. Or even gawk or ponder, if the mood strikes you.

A new card alteration, up on eBay, this time as Buy It Now, just in case somebody want's it fast-like, for Xmas or what.

The commission slot auction turned out to be kind of a silly idea. Nobody bid, but tons of folks emailed me about commissioning their own. At the moment, I'm full to my sugared brim with private commissions. I won't be open for new ones for a bit, but most folks are ok with my posting them here for you all to see. So stay tuned.

Next week: An L5R Phoenix Shugenja vixen will challenge the laws of physics and win! Jodo Kast, the Boba Fettin'est poser for three star systems will show us his tomato vaporizers, and how to use them to make Mandalorian Salad!

Follow me now via the mailing list, my website, deviantart, blogspot, facebook, or livejournal.

A Thousand Sins of Gluttony.

Frosty greetings from behind the shroud of Old Man Winter's deplorably skimpy loincloth, my Beloved Minions. It is officially colder than a frost titan's netherbits here in my mountain stronghold.

For those of you that celebrate the Feast of a Thousand Consecutive Sins of Wanton Gluttony, I hope yours was as good as mine. The heavens weep for the damage I've done to myself, and the turkey population, in the name of holiday participation.

The state of my card alter eBay auction shrouds the interest it seems to have piqued in many of you. A great torrent of email have I seen. A great wailing for more, and pleading to take commissions to alter favorites and playsets. Fear not. The great defacing work will continue. Weekly auctions, and yes, private commissions.

There is still a few days left on the Chandra A'Slaved auction, so everyone get your sniping scopes polished, and prepare your maniacal victory bellow.

And, as promised, another alteration is here.

The Hippodrome of Shai Hulud! I have long held that any form of sport, racing or otherwise, would be much more interesting with sandworm attacks. Who's with me here?

And this too, can be yours, if your sniper skills are up to it.

Next week: the final Scars of Mirrodin painting will swell your pixels! Grand Admiral Thrawn contemplates the horror he finds in the refrigerator! And probably some words hastily arranged!

The question of the week has been "What sort of alters have you done before? (Plus what's a Sharpie alter look like?)

And the above is the answer to both. I've had some very nice players take photos of alters I've done for them, and I've snapped a few myself before giving them up, like my children, with tears in my eyes.

These are what keep me up for three or four days straight at events. Taking stacks of alter requests, and pillaging the local convenient stores for enough caffeine to finish them all.

For those of you who are not yet on my mailing list: Specters of shame and torment follow those who are not "of the list." Remedy this before it's too late! Also, you can use it to brag about how much email you get. It's like having a +1 Inbox of Incredulity!

Squishy squeezes to you all, my Beloved Minions. Follow me now via the mailing list, my website, deviantart, blogspot, facebook, or livejournal.

Fanservice vandalism, France, and typical mischievy.

Those wacky Hutts. They never learn. Chandra A'Slaved eBay Auction.

New to some of you, I have recently taken to defacing my own artwork in a delightful ritual known as "card-alteration." Well, the defacing isn't so much new, as is using real paint and doing a decent job of it. Fear not, event patrons: I will still test the limits of caffeine and sleepless endurance to do your on-the-spot sharpie defilement at cons and tourneys. But this is a way for people to throttle a little more time and love out of me, and own what is currently the closest thing I offer to original paintings. To own this travestuous co-defiling of two beloved fantasy worlds: bid here on eBay. (link) Another alteration to further corrupt your childhood heroes to come next week. Same bat-time, same-bat channel. I've already had a deluge of queries regarding whether commissioning such vandalism will be possible. Yes. My irreverence is not above bribery. I will accept up to a whopping one alter commission a week. Act now, operators are standing by.

Last week(-ish,) I was privileged to attend the Legend of the Five Rings World Championship in Lyon, France. A mighty hell of a time was enjoyed. The Irish players would say "it was grand." "But grand-grand. Not /grand./" I think something may be lost in typing it... Perhaps I should instead say it was "deadly?" Special thanks to all my across-the-atlantic-pond friends who once again, treated me like a god of myth come back for a visit. Your legendary hospitality keeps me warm in my heart-meats all year long.

Many a card's tranquility sundered by my irreverence! Many sketches were birthed as well! Not enough pictures were taken!

At the cafe, this was boasted "the All American Combo!" Sorry, but not quite...

One thing I failed you on, was to bring enough deck backers for you all. In lieu of the seppuku that honor demands, but my weak will vetos: free shipping PLUS 10% off select deckbackers on my eBay store.

Catching up on some artwork, enjoy wallpaper sizes, commentary, preliminary sketches, time-lapses, and even more time-wastefulness by clicking on the following:

Next week: More seemingly ceaseless prattling, Magic artwork, Legends of Norrath, and another alter for auction!

Totally unrelated to anything: Upon arriving at the voting polls, this colossal dumpster blocking the handicapped parking and access to the building itself, seemed an all too poetic metaphor for perpetual political quagmire.

Oh no, I'm being all edgy and political!

If you're not already on my mailing list, the heavens weep for your soul, lost in the dark and cold. Come to the fold. Join the Beloved Minions. Email me to be added to the mailing list of Occasional Fleeting Salvation from Boredom.

Dark hugs to you all, my Beloved Minions.

Follow me now via the mailing list, my website, deviantart, blogspot, facebook, or livejournal.

The Illustration Master Class. AKA Festivawesome!

The Illustration Master Class. Mount Olympia descends from the heavens for a week long sleepover with the Gods of Art. James Gurney, Jeremy Jarvis, Rebecca Guay, Donato Giancola, Boris Vallejo, Julie Bell, Scott Fischer, Don Dos Santos, Greg Manchess, Irene Gallo. Gods. If Zombie Rembrant showed up with an easel, no one would be surprised.



It began early for me, running into Jeremy Jarvis at the airport. Our connecting flight had gone insane. The "Flight departing at whatever" display could not make up it's mind. "Now boarding! No wait. Delayed three hours! Last call for boarding! Cancelled! On the runway!" People were turning back and forth like a school of fish chased by sharks.

So yeah, delayed enough that I'd missed my appointed Ultra-Econo-Trans-Quality-#1Shuttles ride. But Jeremy was gracious enough to let me ride in his... limo? That's right. The Gods travel in style. (I'm pretty sure Jim Gurney rode in on a golden chariot pulled by a team of pegasus. (Pegasuses. Pegasi? Horsebird gaggle.) Jeremy, being a humble fellow, was tragically embarrassed that the IMC had sent a limo for him, and tried to talk the driver into dropping us off in some shady, out of sight place. Also to mug us for good measure.

As students, our challenge was to create a compelling illustration from one of the following concepts: Beauty and the Beast, Jet Cycle Getaway, Joan of Arc, War Priest, or Frost Titan. We were supposed to arrive with sketches finished, ready for critique. I managed to scribble this before they got to me, like the kid who'd forgotten his homework.


-"So, it's a clown goblin orgy? Which one of the challenges does that fit into?"-

Even from this, they gave me some great direction. And no, it did not include "you're in the wrong building, remedial education is two buildings down. You can count to two, right? Don't forget your helmet."

We attended a safety lecture that made painting seem more dangerous than circumcising Godzilla, while he rampages through an on-fire minefield while radioactive acid meteors rain en masse. Despite this stern warning, we did have one safety related "incident." There were two studios, seemingly divided by partyability quotient. At some point, the safety officer said something to the effect of "We respect that you're all adults. But upstairs there's enough liquor to pickle the Kraken. We're pretty sure we saw some of you doing turpentine shots and linseed oil martinis, too. Maybe take it down a notch before someone cuts off their ear in a bout of inspiration?"

Over the week, we were treated to two lectures a day. (Moses only got the one!) Subjects ranged from composition, to shooting reference, to marketing your work, to renewing your love to paint. James Gurney gave two lectures, pretty well covering everything about creating a painting of something that does not exist. Greg Manchess delivered a stirring scientific lecture proving that "talent is total crap." It's study, practice, and work that counts. I could talk about all the fantastic lectures for days. They were that good.


-Working out the composition before detail. A rare case of me practicing what I preach.-

In the time between, we worked on our paintings, getting individual attention from each art god. Reveling in every moment. The Gods painted right along side us. We all stayed in the same dorm, ate at the same cafeteria, and before long it felt like a giant family. Except without the fighting about politics and questions about "where I'm going with my life," and "when I'm going to get a real job," and "why I cry Mountain Dew."


-A delightful bombardment of useful information, packed tighter than a uranium bomb, and twice as radioactive.-

Folks got to see first-hand my peculiar brand of building reference. I even introduced Jim Gurney to zBrush, and he sculpted an adorable little gnome face.


-"Now Steve, I know it's technically accurate, but it's a little distracting having all these flying stingrays with dangling naughty bits flapping in the wind."-

-Quick and dirty zBrush models, rendered in Maya.-

The IMC was incredible. I highly recommend it to anyone serious about art.


-This is apparently Donato kicking my foot away. Because he hates it so very, very much.-

I've still got lots of other misadventures to share, but rather than one epic, hundred page post that no one will read, I'll leave the rest for another time.

In other news, more art! Click on them! There's commentary, sketches, alternate versions, all that good stuff! Go now!

(If you want to be cool, hip, groovy, and with-it, you should join my mailing list by emailing me from the contact page. If you're already on the mailing list, you've probably already ascended to greater enlightenment. Perhaps you've even transformed into a being of pure internet.)