Friday, May 1, 2015

Somberwald Sage

Disney princesses are often depicted with an army of adorable forest critters. And, like them, our lovely Somberwald Sage here has perfected her relationship with nature to the point of commanding teeming legions of obedient forest vermin. Difference is, she’s not afraid to use them to their true potential.

If, for example, she were Sleeping Beauty: She would have launched wave after wave of adorable singing animals against Maleficent’s castle. Then, with the castle as a stronghold, wage a campaign of conquering that puts the ancient Ceasar’s to shame.

For Magic the Gathering. Copyright Wizards of the Coast. Art directed by Jeremy Jarvis.

Animal tattooing by “Unscrupulous Ink. Our motto is: Bring anything in unconscious and strapped to a plank, and we’ll cover it with tats."

Prints available at:

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Monastery Swiftspear

Pizza delivery people HATE this place. In a kingdom of floating mobile-homes where they haven't invented outboard engines or speedboats, getting from place to place isn't quick. Unless you've mastered the art of Yu-Zum, the supersonic wiggling of the toes or feet that can propell one above the surface of the water at incredible velocity. If this image weren't cropped, you'd see that she has half a foot in the ocean, blurred with speed, and a blast of water behind her. When she is not fighting for the glory of the Jeskai, Monastery Swiftspear enjoys found-item sculpture, and tattooing sea monsters. (Not tattoos of sea monsters. Actually putting tattoos on sea monsters. It's a bit of an extreme art.)

 For Magic the Gathering. Copyright Wizards of the Coast. Art directed by Jeremy Jarvis.

 Special thanks to the Jeskai consulate for getting me out of trouble about the... thing with the thing. And her other... things. Saved my sushi there!

 Sketches and timelapse video on my website:!monastery-swiftspear/cdgi

 Prints available at:

Saturday, October 15, 2011



I have a confession to make, my beloved minions. Contrary to what the content of this post would imply, I am not really a horror guy. What’s the saying? “I’m a lover, not a fetishist of undead cannibalism?” I may be remembering the phrase wrong.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Halloween. I love the “anything goes” lack of rules and judgment. It’s the one time of the year that you can go nuts, dress up, and don the persona of anyone or anything. Crawl into the skin of your favorite character. Get cozy in there. Put in a giant bean bag, maybe refinish the kitchen. Nest. This tent of skin is yours now.

Of course, it’s also an understatement to say that I am vehemently non-objectionable to the other great tradition of Halloween: Lightly slutty costumes on vixens of all varieties. The good girl next door, who’s always so prim and proper, adopting for a night a new position in the world, in a naughty devil girl costume. (Which, if we’re truly lucky, is more accurately described as a lack of costume.)

But, I am an artist who mostly wants to make the literally tens of fans I have happy. So it’s not about whether or not I like zombies or monsters. It’s about service of you adorable miscreantic goreaphiles who love nothing more than to see the pustulent dead have a cannibalistic thanksgiving on the marinated-in-their-own-panic living.

So without further babble, my collection of horror: ZOMBTOBERFEST.

First, I know you’re all dribbling infected saliva for new stuff. So we’ll start there. These are concept paintings for the Shotgun Diaries, upcoming Zombstravaganza by Davis Films.

And really, how can you have a post about zombies, without the absolutely mandatory WWII zombie? This is for “The Night Children.” By Alexander Gordon Smith.

Here’s one for D&D that I seem to have forgotten to post with the rest of the Seekers of the Ashen Crown stuff.

And here we have undead, but maybe slightly off-topic, because he’s not a shambling, brain-damaged zombie, so much as a lich-king god of ruining your day.

And, in a similar vein of off-topickedness, an undead Sith Lord. Apparently none too happy that folks woke him up.

And now, let’s revisit some of the undead that’s been up on the site, but that maybe you’ve missed, or forgotten about.

That’s all for this visit, my Beloved Minions. But there’s more to come. Tune in next week for a long-overdue post on the Illustration Master Class 2011.

Thirsty for more? You can find me on Deviantart, Tumblr, Blogspot, Facebook, and Livejournal. You can also email me from the contact page to be added to the site update mailing list.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Enjoy a Chandratini at our Star Wars cocktail party!

Things are busy-ing up for this haggard old scrub of an artist. Lots of cool projects coming up, and I'm starting to make my plans for traveling about with my carriage of Snake Oils, Tonics, Curiosities, and Horrors.

Kinda short notice, I know, but first up: Mirrodin Besieged pre-release in Columbus, OH. In like... a couple days.

In February, you can catch me at the Magic the Gathering Denver Grand Prix.

Sooner or later, I'll need to put up some kind of event calendar here on the site. But that requires a kind of effort and patience that would cut into my Dr. Mario time.

For this week's foray into fanservice, visit the gallery page for a Chandratini recipe, and ponder with this angel, who's wondering why she's staring blankly across an expanse of empty white mat.

And, as promised, a bit of catching up on Star Wars! Something for everyone.

A classic Vader emerges from his meditation chamber.

Double-threat twilek Jedi Rachi Sitra gives me a painful lightsaber lesson.

And we learn why Namman Cha is his despicable Sith self.

Next week: Magic Tactics brings us old favorites! The chronomistress and hard-bodied sorceress from "Telling Time" tells us how to organize our schedules for maximum productivity! Reya Dawnbringer gives us tips on keeping your feathers glowing white! And more hooliganism disguised as card alters!

Don't miss another sporadically unpredictable update. Sign up for the mailing list and hear the e-trumpet call for each and every one. (Email me from the Contact Page to join.)

I hope your 2011 is going as well as mine, my Beloved Minions.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Back in black metal mania. This one goes to 11.

Welcome to 2011, my Beloved Minions. The year that will finally bring us flying cars, robot servants, and cosmetic gene-splicing. I for one, am excited to the point my nipples have carved holes in my ratty-comfy Spinal Tap shirt. It will be such a good year.

I hope your holiday bounty was as spectacular as mine. The only thing missing from my finely wrapped pit of tribute, was a paradox-free time machine. And since those can be difficult to build without sundering time and space, I can easily overlook this one tiny flaw in an otherwise perfect festival of excess.

I'm not kidding in the title of this week's post. It is metal mania for the new year, and we'll start things off with a surprise preview for the upcoming Magic the Gathering Mirrodin Besieged set: Glissa, the Traitor.

And as a bonus, what should technically be labeled a study, but went pretty much to the point of a finished painting: Notglissa, the zBrush 4 Studyxperiment.

Now then, more metal from the land of Rokugan: the Mempo of Jigoku. This is what you wear when nothing but the uncontrollable soiling of your enemies armor will do.

And finally, what truly metal post would be complete without someone sporting copious spikes and chainmail? I present Dragoon Zytl from the Legends of Norrath.

Next week: Jedi and Sith! Rachi Sitra gives us a lightsaber lesson that will end in an emergency room visit, Namaan Cha practices his "menacing face," and Vader is finally back home in the gallery. Also, we'll catch up on the card alters and sketches I've been up to.

There is still room on the mailing list for you to squeeze in, provided you are amply buttered first. (Email me from the Contact Page to join.)

May your New Years Resolutions be fulfilled with speed and tenacity.

Until we meet again, my Beloved Minions.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Custom playmat paintings

A little something new for you this week, my Beloved Minions. Well, new to some of you. I bring you the very latest in cutting edge analog fanservice, the fully rendered playmat sketch:

My playmat sketches have evolved quite a bit this year. When I was in Madrid for the Magic GP, I was asked to desecrate many a playmat. And there I was, with my trusty sharpie, "Sheriff Bart." Which I had figured would be enough, he always had before. But then, folks started unceremoniously dropping mats with full color marker paintings by Aleksi Briclot in front of me. Asking me to do "something like that," with a smile, and an expectation that I could somehow compete with that.

After the shame of defacing the second half of many a beautiful work by Aleksi, I decided I needed to upgrade. First I started with a handful of Prismacolor markers, which worked quite well. Then, when I found myself in a scrapbook store - for totally legitimate reasons - I tried out some Copic markers, as recommended to me by the inimitable, unparalleled, incredible Adam Hughes.

These are some fine markers. A little pricey, but awesome. The above is the first, in hopefully a long series, of "no-holds-barred" playmat artwork. For those interested in seeing some of the evolutionary stages, here are some much faster sketches I've done at cons. As usual, these are just the handful I managed to take pictures of before they scurried off to become battlefields.

Now new artwork! Go bathe in their salty comments! Rub your eyes against the wallpaper sizes! Taste the hamfisted abuse of color!

Next week: Metal Mania! Or some other catchprase that hasn’t been outdated since I was in diapers. Whatever. A magical metal man with skull helmet and spikes shows us how to love! And a possessed kabuto offers the mysteries of the universe, at a price... (It is very picky about shampoo.)

The mailing list is hungry. If you're not yet on the list, cast yourself upon it before it is too late!

Cuddles from across cyberspace, my Beloved Minions. Follow me now via the mailing list, my website, deviantart, blogspot, facebook, or livejournal.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

This is the holiday where Cthulu rises and it rains ham, right?

My family and friends have taken issue with my Christmas list this year. It seems that "candy zombie apocalypse of gluttony" is not something you can order from Amazon.

Similarly when I presented "Robo-harem of sassy and assy super-heroines" as a great present, my wife inexplicably punched me in the nipple.

Apparently my online request for "modified super-villain death-ray that turns stray neighborhood animals into pine-scented rainbows" was not popular with PETA, if the grenades lobbed through my windows are any indication. (Clever though, they are engraved with such slogans as "Meat is murder! How do you like it, d-bag?" and "Say hello to puppy Jesus for us. XOXO PETA." Or "To whom it may concern, thank you for reading this grenade instead of throwing it back at us." )

They're all grinches, I say. Grinches! Ebineezer Grinchy MacHatesalot Scrooges!

Anyhow, I've got some new paintings for you to gander at. Or even gawk or ponder, if the mood strikes you.

A new card alteration, up on eBay, this time as Buy It Now, just in case somebody want's it fast-like, for Xmas or what.

The commission slot auction turned out to be kind of a silly idea. Nobody bid, but tons of folks emailed me about commissioning their own. At the moment, I'm full to my sugared brim with private commissions. I won't be open for new ones for a bit, but most folks are ok with my posting them here for you all to see. So stay tuned.

Next week: An L5R Phoenix Shugenja vixen will challenge the laws of physics and win! Jodo Kast, the Boba Fettin'est poser for three star systems will show us his tomato vaporizers, and how to use them to make Mandalorian Salad!

Follow me now via the mailing list, my website, deviantart, blogspot, facebook, or livejournal.