Fanservice vandalism, France, and typical mischievy.

Those wacky Hutts. They never learn. Chandra A'Slaved eBay Auction.

New to some of you, I have recently taken to defacing my own artwork in a delightful ritual known as "card-alteration." Well, the defacing isn't so much new, as is using real paint and doing a decent job of it. Fear not, event patrons: I will still test the limits of caffeine and sleepless endurance to do your on-the-spot sharpie defilement at cons and tourneys. But this is a way for people to throttle a little more time and love out of me, and own what is currently the closest thing I offer to original paintings. To own this travestuous co-defiling of two beloved fantasy worlds: bid here on eBay. (link) Another alteration to further corrupt your childhood heroes to come next week. Same bat-time, same-bat channel. I've already had a deluge of queries regarding whether commissioning such vandalism will be possible. Yes. My irreverence is not above bribery. I will accept up to a whopping one alter commission a week. Act now, operators are standing by.

Last week(-ish,) I was privileged to attend the Legend of the Five Rings World Championship in Lyon, France. A mighty hell of a time was enjoyed. The Irish players would say "it was grand." "But grand-grand. Not /grand./" I think something may be lost in typing it... Perhaps I should instead say it was "deadly?" Special thanks to all my across-the-atlantic-pond friends who once again, treated me like a god of myth come back for a visit. Your legendary hospitality keeps me warm in my heart-meats all year long.

Many a card's tranquility sundered by my irreverence! Many sketches were birthed as well! Not enough pictures were taken!

At the cafe, this was boasted "the All American Combo!" Sorry, but not quite...

One thing I failed you on, was to bring enough deck backers for you all. In lieu of the seppuku that honor demands, but my weak will vetos: free shipping PLUS 10% off select deckbackers on my eBay store.

Catching up on some artwork, enjoy wallpaper sizes, commentary, preliminary sketches, time-lapses, and even more time-wastefulness by clicking on the following:

Next week: More seemingly ceaseless prattling, Magic artwork, Legends of Norrath, and another alter for auction!

Totally unrelated to anything: Upon arriving at the voting polls, this colossal dumpster blocking the handicapped parking and access to the building itself, seemed an all too poetic metaphor for perpetual political quagmire.

Oh no, I'm being all edgy and political!

If you're not already on my mailing list, the heavens weep for your soul, lost in the dark and cold. Come to the fold. Join the Beloved Minions. Email me to be added to the mailing list of Occasional Fleeting Salvation from Boredom.

Dark hugs to you all, my Beloved Minions.

Follow me now via the mailing list, my website, deviantart, blogspot, facebook, or livejournal.

Careening into 2010 with foolhardy abandon!

Welcome to a new decade, my Beloved Minions. May 2010 be so overflowing with unrelenting awesomeness for all of you that we unanimously decide it needs a sequel. "2010 II: Even Hunky-Dorier."

Before you proceed with this new year, you may need a new calendar. This one's for charity and full of keen paintings: http://roku-mart.com/store/product/2010-charity-calendar

Because my 2009 has been cram-packed with the good, the bad, and the ugly, my website updates have been particularly sparse. I'll stick to the good for this recap of the last couple of months.

First - FULL ON HOT VIDEO LESSON ACTION!

That's right. I've heard your digital wailing. Felt your internet hands groping in the darkness. And I have responded with a smattering of my brain-meats as an appetizer to arouse your thirst to become art super- ninjas. In this first sermon to the newborn Cult of Argyle, I reveal the secret combinations and Photoshop witchcraft that have birthed many a digital babe-warrior. Normally, you'd expect to pay your immortal soul, and most likely what is left of your virtue and hope, to attain this forbidden knowledge. But act now, and it is yours for the low-low price of spending one-half of an hour of the time you'd otherwise use surfing Youtube for hilarious kitten antics. Do it. Watch it. Become one of us. Cleave to the sticky embrace the Cult of Argyle.

(250mb, 30min. Too long for Youtube. Let's see how long it takes before my website host boots me...)

Next - IRL people foolishly submit themselves to the Brush of the Me.

Don't ask me how it happened. I can't really remember throught the haze of my yellow #5 abuse. But at some point, I was presented with delightful young women offering up their bodies. Like the fool I so clearly am, I just doodled on them.

This was my first foray into the medium of body painting. It was a three-hour exhibition, unfortunately held at an intolerably dark and loud nightclub. These shots were taken with two giant flash bulbs, and show far, far more than I could see whilst stumbling through this otherwise delightful medium. You can kind of see in the backgrounds how little light there actually was. This is my excuse, and I'm sticking to it.

Moving Along - More things that are remarkably non-digital.

I made a gingerbread house. I feel so domestic. However, because of the stomach-squeezingly sickly- sweet wholesomeness of our local gingerbread show, I have resolved for next year to submit a gingerbread housewife instead. With a pie-crust apron, chocolate high-heels, frosting knickers, Jolly Rancher lip glaze, and very little else. It will undoubtedly be my most shallow, sexist work to date. Which will bring the median morality of the show crashing down to the level of a Bible and Prayer Symposium for Handicapped Children. So watch for that around Christmas next year. You may want to set up a news alert for "Perverted, self-proclaimed 'artist' terrorises gingerbread show with half-baked, half-naked confection of sin. Police taze both him and the gingerbread harlot.

(Either that, or I could make a gingerbread Godzilla to crush the competition. But I think I like precipitating the above scandal better.)

Finally - Artwork!

No update would be complete without a haphazard discharge of newish artwork. So for this installment, I bring you the following. Hit the individual pages for commentary, sketches, wallpapers, WIP, time-lapses, alternate versions, and whatnot.

Also: For folks in the Chicago area, I'll be at the Worldwake prerelease, peddling my filthy wares and mercilessly scribbling signatures and such.

Also also: If you're not already on my mailing list, you should be. Go to my website, click on the contact page link right now and email me. It is your destiny.